Often I ask myself why? But does it really matter or I am just being silly and worrying about almost everything? When things happens in our daily life, we as human nature try as hard as we can to find reason in everything. My mind was at battle a few hours earlier - I was asking myself whether to do a particular thing or not to do, deep down or at the back of my head i had the answers and I knew very well what I had to do. Then a friend of mine said - "TO DO - U ONLY LIVE ONCE".
It was then that my heart decided to get involved, it occured to me that even if i go ahead and do the deed, my conscience on the other hand would have tried to convince me otherwise.
Here I am now, while letting all of these out at this particular place, I know I am not supposed to be at - but why I did it - was it the inner little creature in me that wanted to be selfish, in any other case, I let this devil to control me once again. Although I have tried so many times to fight it,but it looks like it's got the upper hand. Only that inner creature within me and my creator knows WHY?
The last question that I have is - Until WHEN? will I let this power control me, because I know very well that I should spend less time worrying about what lies at the end of a religious journey ,when its the path itself that I am on that's important.
I might have made the wrong choices and decisions, but those were mine to make and to learn from them.
Now that I have offloaded, hope when you go through this - you will Identify something that has meaning in your well being and maybe teach me some thing aswell.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
You alone you are ENOUGH!!!!
So this is it, i will start by sharing about this Phenomenal Women, that is me.
Soapy, Cranky or however you want to put it - this is me.
I have taken sometime to get in touch with the pressure/challenge i feel as a woman, it doesn't matter what kind of an environment i am in, if you are a woman - you are bound to experience it.
"I remember all those times and places - home, work, socially, alone - so you know I am a loner by birth that i felt all the pressure/challenge'', but its all determined by my behaviour. It all comes down to how i think, feel, speak , behave towards whatever i happen to come across, am i capable of turning around negativity to something that will not bring me down, or do i just believe that i dont have important things that i should be focusing on?
Yet again - its in my identity to be a rock - isn't that what all women grow up believing in? ohh well correct me if i am wrong, but i have learnt to step back beyond that identity and intergrate, what is this vision i am pursuing? what is my mission? what is my purpose? who/what else am i saving now? what was i designed to do as a strong young black woman? Mostly - "How will 'me doing me' make a difference in the world and i realised - i owe the world nothing, nothing is worth all that energy, i may be weak, but there is this place within me that i draw strength from and i realise that in actual fact I AM POWERFUL.
There is just still one question left - maybe the universe will answer me one day - "How does knowing what i know from 'Beyond, Identity, Beliefs and Capabilities change and enhance my Behaviour?"
Soapy, Cranky or however you want to put it - this is me.
I have taken sometime to get in touch with the pressure/challenge i feel as a woman, it doesn't matter what kind of an environment i am in, if you are a woman - you are bound to experience it.
"I remember all those times and places - home, work, socially, alone - so you know I am a loner by birth that i felt all the pressure/challenge'', but its all determined by my behaviour. It all comes down to how i think, feel, speak , behave towards whatever i happen to come across, am i capable of turning around negativity to something that will not bring me down, or do i just believe that i dont have important things that i should be focusing on?
Yet again - its in my identity to be a rock - isn't that what all women grow up believing in? ohh well correct me if i am wrong, but i have learnt to step back beyond that identity and intergrate, what is this vision i am pursuing? what is my mission? what is my purpose? who/what else am i saving now? what was i designed to do as a strong young black woman? Mostly - "How will 'me doing me' make a difference in the world and i realised - i owe the world nothing, nothing is worth all that energy, i may be weak, but there is this place within me that i draw strength from and i realise that in actual fact I AM POWERFUL.
There is just still one question left - maybe the universe will answer me one day - "How does knowing what i know from 'Beyond, Identity, Beliefs and Capabilities change and enhance my Behaviour?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)