Chronicles Of An Imperfectly Perfect Person

There are times in ones life where one goes through turmoil, we go through stuff, heartbreak, loss, but we have to put on a face and front like everything is ok, yet we dying an intense death inside but one has to pull through - draw some strength from somewhere within and be brave, shine above our darkest moments and stand undefeated.

Im thinking to myself that this  life that we live is more like ukusinda ( this is polishing of the floor of a hut with cow dung). For one to be able to do this you need ubulongwe (fresh cow dung) and for one to get fresh cow dung - there must be grass ( green grass) that will have to be consumed by the cattle.  Just like when one esinda  - the  cow dung  must be spread evenly on the floor and in half moon movements from right to left and make sure there are no clumps. One must wear old clothes as cow dung stains don't wash off and make sure you don't sindza yourself  inside the hut, one must always start from the wall furthest  from the door. Not that I'm a master when it comes to ukusinda, but I would seldomly do it when visiting my late grandmother and thinking about it made me think of how  it my be similar to everyday living.                                                                                                                                                     

And so just  like the process of ukusinda in  life as well there are those golden moments which  can  either turn shitty (metaphorically) like cow dung. Just like spreading the dung on the floor, life ,situations, people will do things and you'll be changed either for good or bad. At times you will even be made out to be heartless, evil, immature, God forbid called stupid. With the same token some people will come into ones life to stain you up and either leaving you completely raveled up or beautiful like a hut after it has been polished up.       

 With that said we are all not going to get the same things, and like one of the biblical commandments says "Thou shall not covet your neighbors wife"  - not necessarily your wifes neighbor, but anything your neighbor has. Always be grateful for what you got and work hard to get more, but don't make the mistake of being content with whatever you have, always strive to better yourself. Cinderella wouldn't have been princess if she stayed back to find her slipper, same goes for you. You will not know what you are capable off if you don't try, people will always have things to say, whether you are doing bad or good. So while you are in that quest remember to do YOU, because pleasing or living for people will not get you anywhere in life...

"Thoughts"

So I've been doing a lot of writing today. The thing  is I got tired of thinking, seemingly thats what I've been doing lately. They say over thinking can cause a lot of unwanted emotions. Its true though, because once you have something on your mind, you try to analyze it , sometimes you end up over analyzing it. You know mos' when you get visited by those ohh so daunting thoughts. You question yourself, but don't  seem to be listening or asking the right questions. You don't know whether its progress or digress.

When days blend into weeks, weeks into months , till drips are drops for flies to swim in, when you think and even run out off things to think about and your head starts to ache . That happens if you're a loner like me. But I must say that most of the time I enjoy my own company, my own space - having to let out gas without worrying what the next person will think or say that it might smell like a petrol bomb that went off in Darfur. Although there are times when I think about how " it must be nice" to have someone to share ones time with, besides my job. But then up until that person comes along, I'm ok....I'm super grand. 

Some people might call it pride, maybe it is , maybe not. I know though that pride will be the death for some of us. But yet again the human species is just too much to comprehend at times hey . The egos.....dealing with egos happens not to be in my job description shame. Some of us need to handle ourselves appropriately. Until then I'm ok where I am.

As I unravel on these thoughts of mine it just came to pass that I've allowed thoughts of things I have no control over hinder my present and future. Rather let me not replay time I can never get back. 

Fear of the unknown

They say if you do not dream you are either a realist or a pragmatist.

When I look back to all the dreams one had whilst growing up I come to a realization that some of them have come to life.

Are you ever at a point in life where you wish or long for things,but once you have them you are still hungry for more or whatever you longed  for doesn't make you whole or the void one was trying to fill is still empty? What does one do in that case , does one seek professional help or does one continue feeding this unknown hunger. I guess it will take some soul searching to sort off get an answer to that mind blogging question.

Many feelings are so ungovernable, you can send them to exile, but NO! - they want to be set free. Is it the fear of not wanting to be lonely!? The fear of wanting validation from the universe  that one is worth something or we are just  self centered cowards who are unappreciative of what we  have until that moment it's taken away from us.....when we finally realize , but its too late. Someone once said "don't wait for the world to recognize your greatness, Live it and let the world catch up to you" . While doing that, do not forget that the universe is self- correcting.... you might just find yourself in a dilemma because believe me what you dish out to the universe will be served back to you, it might not be a welcoming warm dish - so they say karma is a female dog.

The things that BOTHER us are of minor importance - it all boils down to what you make of them ( Its not always about you) BUT no life experience should make or force one to do things you are not comfortable  with.

As you go on with your daily business remember that Life isn't always about that......

 

MTVBase & Klipdrift Urban Smooth Sessions

So this past weekend the Urban Smooth Sessions made their Debut in Durban.

As usual MTVBase didn’t disappoint (allow me – as this was my second event to attend to that was hosted by MTVBase), but this time they didn’t make this happen on their own - Klipdrift Premium was in conjunction with them.

Nomzamo Mbatha from the infamous Isibaya and one of the 3 finalists of 2012 MTV Base VJ Search was the MC for the night and I must say she did a pretty good job herself.

On the list of artists that performed on the night included the lovely Nandi Mngoma. You know what they say “Ladies First” and she was the first to grace the stage. Having it been my first time seeing her perform - her performance was out of this world especially when she did “Good times”, the crowd got so hyped up.

Liquideep came on stage with an electrifying performance of “Something about you” which literally drove all the ladies crazy and they were screaming their lungs out. When the duo finished performing the crowd was still so electrified that they started chanting we want more, we want more!!!

Third artist to grace the stage was our own Durban based music mogul Zakes Bantwini. When he performed “Carolina” from hit latest single - the crowd went MAD, what more can I say – his dance moves and fashion sense always leave one in awe.

There was also a lineup of DJ’s your likes of Durban born DJ C’ndo, Shimza & Benny Maverick who set the entire venue in flames with club banger tracks.

It wasn’t just a party there were prizes as well and I happened to be one of the winners. Beats by Dre headphones were also up for grabs – “I know of an individual who would have loved to scoop them - (gives him an imaginary hug)”.

This (MTV Africa All Stars) campaign of saluting our musicians brings me great pleasure especially seeing our KZN artists shine (it’s been long overdue – my opinion).

A huge thank you to Yeahbo.Net, MTVBase & Klipdrift Premium for an epic night.


*Twitter : http://mtvbase.com/@MTVBaseAfrica 
*Twitter : http://klipdrift.co.za/@K_Premium
*Twitter : http://yeahbo.net/@yEaHb0

A Gift Of Time...

Four days...in about four days my life can change for the better (hopefully). I am an absolute cocktail of emotions - If I were to get into them it would be a prose composition. "Fear and confidence".I am comforted by that contentment feeling that confindence seems to be taking the upper hand, infact I can do this - its been way over due and it has been a standstill block in my life progressions.

I know I said in four days my life can change for the better - see that's the problem right there with the human species. We plan for things for a few minutes later, hours, days, weeks , months and a year later, forgetting that we are not immortal, we might not just make it to that particular time we have in mind or we might not be lucky enough to do the things were are hoping for.That is why they say: If you love them, tell them.show them.find a way to express it to them.it's never too late.ever. BUT yet again if you do not do it in an instant it might just be too late.

So here I am crossing my fingers and asking the universe to please be good to me and everybody involved in making this life changing moment happen for me. In the meantime I will be hopeful in the fourth day - things will turn out for the better.

                                                                                                                                                                                         

It'll fall into place...

What I have realised and love about me.
#1: I enjoy the comfort of myself. 
#2: I don't need to a person in order to be complete, because I complete myself.
#3: I have confidence in myself to succeed and I am realistic about things that I can and can not do.
Although there are those moments when one is overwhelmed by certain feelings of doubt - I come to my senses and re - realise that God is bigger than anything.
#4: I know the difference from what is good for me and what is not so good. Even though sometimes I still follow the things that aren't the greatest for me, like wanting forever with someone.. yet knowing that you deserve better!. I also trust that in my stupidity I will learn something valuable and be a better person.

I know I am not where I want to be in life, but I know one thing that I'll get there. It may not be in the time frame I have set for myself but I will get there.I have learnt that the lesson is in the struggle not in the victory and I embrace my struggles because from them I learn the greatest lessons about life.Some one dear to me once said "one step at a time my dear, you'll get there".

And throughout this process of finding myself I have learnt that even when my inner goddess talks negatively to me, one has to rise above all negativity and believe it'll will fall into place.
With that said..should I get an invite from the universe to party - I will carpe diem and party hard to celebrate where I am at the moment.

To my dear unirverse  - from the bottom of my heart I would like to take this moment and thank you for showing me love, It proves that things will fall into place...

MTV AFRICA ALL STARS LAUNCH

Last Thursday was astounding so I must say – I had the time of my life .

As I hang my head in shame though, I was over an hour late, although I hate being late or being kept waiting myself – I guess it was Murphy’s law – we got so lost – ended up in town and headed back to Umhlanga again where the event was held – because I didn’t want to disappoint myself and my @yEahbo.net acquaintance.

But I was lucky got there before the formalities started.

Firstly the venue was deserving to host the launch , the snacks served were also appetizing  although I didn’t indulge too much.

The drinks also kept us going and the crowd was an alive crowd.

Nomuzi Mabena did a good job as well as an MC.

Need I say more about the performances ….. they were out of this world and I must say I’m glad they had KZN raised artist  to perform there – they really represented Durban in a major way.

Ohh wow  - this I tell you how out of this world the performances were? Let me paint a picture for you.....

When Teargas opened up  the  stage with their latest offering “ Jabula” , It was really time to celebrate the whole idea behind MTV All Stars and the mere fact that they made KZN priority .

“Wake Up”  and “Mhlobo wami” were also performed.

That was a killer performance and then there was Big Nuz with “Umlilo” ,abo “Sting Ray” and “Ungazoba serious” – the boys represented for cheesy although the 3^rd member R Mashesha wasn’t there, Tira joined them and made justice to the performance.

Zakes  graced the stage aswell  with his “wasting my time” tune and “Carolina “

Then there was Professor with “Thando” Ohh he did show us some love with his performance, “amafinger prints” “ X – ongasolveki”   - That was another killer performance.

Tira on the decks also did his thing.

Big Nuz, Zakes Bantwini, Professor, Tira  and Teargas  got everybody on the dance floor – I didn’t get a chance to see the Nigerian Superstar Flavour the night was epic! though.

Extract from the media file.

INTRODUCING THE “MTV AFRICA ALL STARS”

MTV BASE & S . A ‘s KZN PROVINCE LAUNCHED THE STAR-STUDDED PAN-AFRICAN URBAN MUSIC TOUR, CONCERT & WORKSHOP

As you already know – on the 28 March 2013 MTV Base set the continent ablaze in 3 cities Durban/Lagos/Nairobi  with MTV Africa All Stars – a sensational new pan-African music and youth empowerment campaign saluting the star quality and widespread  appeal of contemporary African Musicians to expose the continents hottest musical innovators and pacesetters.

As part of this magnificent launch SNOOP LION aka SNOOP Dogg is set to headline MTV AFRICA ALL STARS CONCERT  here in Durban on the 18 May 2013 at Moses Mabhida’s People Park .

This is set to be broadcasted around the world as part of MTV’s acclaimed world stage  franchise on MTV Base (DStv channel 322 & MTV’s global TV network ).

For any imagery or video footage  and content relating to the campaign you can go to the site below, I will do so myself when I get a chance – it’s been a busy day  - but NOT an excuse to give back a crappy review J.

www.mtvbase.com/mini/mtvafrica-allstars-press