Chronicles Of An Imperfectly Perfect Person

There are times in ones life where one goes through turmoil, we go through stuff, heartbreak, loss, but we have to put on a face and front like everything is ok, yet we dying an intense death inside but one has to pull through - draw some strength from somewhere within and be brave, shine above our darkest moments and stand undefeated.

Im thinking to myself that this  life that we live is more like ukusinda ( this is polishing of the floor of a hut with cow dung). For one to be able to do this you need ubulongwe (fresh cow dung) and for one to get fresh cow dung - there must be grass ( green grass) that will have to be consumed by the cattle.  Just like when one esinda  - the  cow dung  must be spread evenly on the floor and in half moon movements from right to left and make sure there are no clumps. One must wear old clothes as cow dung stains don't wash off and make sure you don't sindza yourself  inside the hut, one must always start from the wall furthest  from the door. Not that I'm a master when it comes to ukusinda, but I would seldomly do it when visiting my late grandmother and thinking about it made me think of how  it my be similar to everyday living.                                                                                                                                                     

And so just  like the process of ukusinda in  life as well there are those golden moments which  can  either turn shitty (metaphorically) like cow dung. Just like spreading the dung on the floor, life ,situations, people will do things and you'll be changed either for good or bad. At times you will even be made out to be heartless, evil, immature, God forbid called stupid. With the same token some people will come into ones life to stain you up and either leaving you completely raveled up or beautiful like a hut after it has been polished up.       

 With that said we are all not going to get the same things, and like one of the biblical commandments says "Thou shall not covet your neighbors wife"  - not necessarily your wifes neighbor, but anything your neighbor has. Always be grateful for what you got and work hard to get more, but don't make the mistake of being content with whatever you have, always strive to better yourself. Cinderella wouldn't have been princess if she stayed back to find her slipper, same goes for you. You will not know what you are capable off if you don't try, people will always have things to say, whether you are doing bad or good. So while you are in that quest remember to do YOU, because pleasing or living for people will not get you anywhere in life...

"Thoughts"

So I've been doing a lot of writing today. The thing  is I got tired of thinking, seemingly thats what I've been doing lately. They say over thinking can cause a lot of unwanted emotions. Its true though, because once you have something on your mind, you try to analyze it , sometimes you end up over analyzing it. You know mos' when you get visited by those ohh so daunting thoughts. You question yourself, but don't  seem to be listening or asking the right questions. You don't know whether its progress or digress.

When days blend into weeks, weeks into months , till drips are drops for flies to swim in, when you think and even run out off things to think about and your head starts to ache . That happens if you're a loner like me. But I must say that most of the time I enjoy my own company, my own space - having to let out gas without worrying what the next person will think or say that it might smell like a petrol bomb that went off in Darfur. Although there are times when I think about how " it must be nice" to have someone to share ones time with, besides my job. But then up until that person comes along, I'm ok....I'm super grand. 

Some people might call it pride, maybe it is , maybe not. I know though that pride will be the death for some of us. But yet again the human species is just too much to comprehend at times hey . The egos.....dealing with egos happens not to be in my job description shame. Some of us need to handle ourselves appropriately. Until then I'm ok where I am.

As I unravel on these thoughts of mine it just came to pass that I've allowed thoughts of things I have no control over hinder my present and future. Rather let me not replay time I can never get back. 

Fear of the unknown

They say if you do not dream you are either a realist or a pragmatist.

When I look back to all the dreams one had whilst growing up I come to a realization that some of them have come to life.

Are you ever at a point in life where you wish or long for things,but once you have them you are still hungry for more or whatever you longed  for doesn't make you whole or the void one was trying to fill is still empty? What does one do in that case , does one seek professional help or does one continue feeding this unknown hunger. I guess it will take some soul searching to sort off get an answer to that mind blogging question.

Many feelings are so ungovernable, you can send them to exile, but NO! - they want to be set free. Is it the fear of not wanting to be lonely!? The fear of wanting validation from the universe  that one is worth something or we are just  self centered cowards who are unappreciative of what we  have until that moment it's taken away from us.....when we finally realize , but its too late. Someone once said "don't wait for the world to recognize your greatness, Live it and let the world catch up to you" . While doing that, do not forget that the universe is self- correcting.... you might just find yourself in a dilemma because believe me what you dish out to the universe will be served back to you, it might not be a welcoming warm dish - so they say karma is a female dog.

The things that BOTHER us are of minor importance - it all boils down to what you make of them ( Its not always about you) BUT no life experience should make or force one to do things you are not comfortable  with.

As you go on with your daily business remember that Life isn't always about that......

 

MTVBase & Klipdrift Urban Smooth Sessions

So this past weekend the Urban Smooth Sessions made their Debut in Durban.

As usual MTVBase didn’t disappoint (allow me – as this was my second event to attend to that was hosted by MTVBase), but this time they didn’t make this happen on their own - Klipdrift Premium was in conjunction with them.

Nomzamo Mbatha from the infamous Isibaya and one of the 3 finalists of 2012 MTV Base VJ Search was the MC for the night and I must say she did a pretty good job herself.

On the list of artists that performed on the night included the lovely Nandi Mngoma. You know what they say “Ladies First” and she was the first to grace the stage. Having it been my first time seeing her perform - her performance was out of this world especially when she did “Good times”, the crowd got so hyped up.

Liquideep came on stage with an electrifying performance of “Something about you” which literally drove all the ladies crazy and they were screaming their lungs out. When the duo finished performing the crowd was still so electrified that they started chanting we want more, we want more!!!

Third artist to grace the stage was our own Durban based music mogul Zakes Bantwini. When he performed “Carolina” from hit latest single - the crowd went MAD, what more can I say – his dance moves and fashion sense always leave one in awe.

There was also a lineup of DJ’s your likes of Durban born DJ C’ndo, Shimza & Benny Maverick who set the entire venue in flames with club banger tracks.

It wasn’t just a party there were prizes as well and I happened to be one of the winners. Beats by Dre headphones were also up for grabs – “I know of an individual who would have loved to scoop them - (gives him an imaginary hug)”.

This (MTV Africa All Stars) campaign of saluting our musicians brings me great pleasure especially seeing our KZN artists shine (it’s been long overdue – my opinion).

A huge thank you to Yeahbo.Net, MTVBase & Klipdrift Premium for an epic night.


*Twitter : http://mtvbase.com/@MTVBaseAfrica 
*Twitter : http://klipdrift.co.za/@K_Premium
*Twitter : http://yeahbo.net/@yEaHb0