Just because......

Just because I don't ever shed a tear, you foolishy assume , I feel no pain,
Just because I keep on giving, you don't think of giving yourself, you are only happy to keep on recieving,
Just because I keep on reaching out, you take that as a sign of weakness,
Just because there is no bleeding ,you unwittingly think I am not hurting,
Just because I kept walking, it never occurs to you that I also get tired,
Just because I don't complain, you convince yourself I am ok,
Just because I don't confront you or accuse you, you are convinced I dont know, you are convinced, I am blind or plain stupid,
Just because I don't raise my voice, you think that I am scared and helpless,
Just because I have faith in a better tomorrow, you unwisely conclude that I am weak,
Just because my heart stubbonly keeps on beating , you feel I can take more punches,
Just because I keep on smilling, even though deep inside im hurting, doesn't it occur to you that i also have feelings like you?
Why should I be always on the giving end and instead of the recieving side? Am I being too selfish or Am I just being human?
Whatever your take is.......Just because I am able to vent out, it doesn't mean that you should take it as a weakness,,,,

Is it the Masses or the Promoters

I was looking forward to the Zarfest, that I even got myself Golden passes to the gig.Then a day before the gig I recieve a funny message from Computicket alerting me that the concert had been cancelled.I first thought it was some one pulling one funny sick joke on me - I call the Zar Empire enquiring about this, but this nerd lady I speak to has no idea (how's that for incompetence?), but then I checked the social media networks and it was indeed true. I was so fustrated in an unimaginable way, the thing is when I tell myself that I am doing or not doing something,then it gotta be just like that "My will shall be done".

Now that my plans were all buggered up by Zarfest's POOR promotion skills - maybe it wasn't entirely the promoters fault - maybe not everyone was fascinated by the list of performers. For the mere fact that all the artist were already in town,makes me wonder what really went down, besides "the poor of sales excuse"- ENOUGH with the maybe's , I still had to make another plan, so there I was booking flight tickets to Jozi and sorting out accomodation.I tell you it was hard work  - as I had to do all that in a space of two days, two days I said.

The gig was out of this world, except for Lil Kim's performance and Timbaland's - my advice to Timbo is for him to stick to producing and colabs , because when he is all alone on stage - he is just one huge fag (excuse my grammar) but its true.Ciara is one performer who out did herself I must say, dispite some unpleasant encounters and the cold - it turned out to be one of the dopest show and the company was great too.

Now looking forward to Trey Songz gig - I am anticipating the response from Durban peeps, hope it wont be cancelled, like Timbalands show  - but I wouldnt be suprised if its cancelled due to poor advertising, the first and last I heard of it was on the tv show LIVE and then it was it or maybe I'm just being negative, would someone blame me though after the June experience??????. To tell you the truth I am not so exited about the show as I was a few weeks back, maybe its a sign that it's also gonna be bummer, ohh well I will just have to wait and see, twenty eight days and couting down.

While I'm on that count down - I am also looking forward to a performace by a dear friend of mine, known as Ebonygypsy  - This Women's Day at the Catalina Theatre, Ebonygypsy Arts presents:



A WOMAN, A HAT, A BAG AND HER BELLY

This event is set to showcase the beauty of women through poetry, music and fashion featuring local hat and handbag designers and Tumelo Khoza, Thando, Six Beats, Davyn, Clint, Seamartist and the Ebonygypsy herself  - Legggo and support , here here to WOMAN POWER!!!!!!! you go my lady.

My Mentor

The first time I set my eyes on this man, I was moved, inspired and motivated.
He is an "Award Winning Business Man", an author, artist, husband, father to two beautiful daughters, one of them named Swazi, because he is married to a Swati woman and motivational speaker.He has gone on to write a book that celebrates moments and achievements, of dreams that came true. It is yet another story written by a man who has been equally blessed by challenges and breakthroughs. He has an Honours degree in Sociology from UKZN, after graduating he went on to leacture in the Humanities faculty and then to work in the corporate world.
However, his life took a dramatic turn whe he was paralyzed in a car accident in 1995.After the accident he went to work for the Dept. of Transport where he played a big role in the hugely successful "ASIPHEPHE" road safety campaign, which I learned when I met him for the first time that actually the Lengendary Ladysmith Black Mambazo did the song, his name is Musa E Zulu.

My mentor has delivered motivational talks through out South Africa to various business, educational & community institutions over the last 16 years.I salute this man, every word that comes out of his mouth builds something within any individual. So I eventually meet with my mentor, not that it was scheduled, I guess fate was behind it.
I am at the Hilton Hotel, to meet with my aunt for the first time, He is there to pitch a  book of his "Celebrating Ladysmith Black Mambazo's 50 years" to Princess MaNtfombi Zulu, wife to King Goodwill Zwelithini.
As he unfolds his plans about this book I get even more inspired, I ask myself - if a man is disabled at 25years, after having been given the liberty to walk and then having it taken away at that age - how does one carry on living, where does one get the courage from to carry on living and have dreams that he had aspired to see them coming into life, I was gazing into thin air, deep down asking myself what is holding me back....

As we celebrate woman's month, he is coordinating a woman's day celebration in honour of twelve disabled women, I am so looking forward to that and the book.
In closing I take my hat off for this man and I celebrate him.

Being Selfish and staying content with oneself

I have grown this no nonsense attitude towards a whole lot of things, call me pyscho  or what - it really won't make a difference.
Let me just be frank, if you dont know what I eat before I went to bed - I really dont have to explain myself to you ar worry what some one else is thinking or what they saying about me, in a nutshell , it ain't really my problem. I know that there is this thing people call karma, maybe it be karma or what - all I know is that no weapon formed against me  - by a human being is going to prosper. Maybe it's because I know my grounds and stand on them, that is why there is hardly ever a time that I worry about "what ifs". It is either meant to happen to teach me some good or it could be the universe trying to make me deal with stuff in a different way.
I want to do away with people that bring negative energies to me, I have just had enough of people abusing my soft hearted part - yep I am "soft-hearted" as a put on personality though - so said a so-called friend of mine.
There are instances where I would be like, what happened to that naive, reserved girl that i used to be - but then I say it's alright - I am happy and very content with myself.